101 Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say

  • Dragon
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I found this at a website and thought it was pretty cool... :P



101 Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say.
----------------------------

Uh-oh.....
*plum*!!
What the hell!?
Go get your backup tape. (You do have a backup tape?)
That's SOOOOO bizarre.
Wow!! Look at this.....
Hey!! The suns don't do this.
Terminated??!
What software license?
Well, it's doing something.....
Wow....that seemed fast.....
I got a better job at Lockheed...
Management says...
Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgetted.
What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
It didn't do that a minute ago...
Where's the GUI on this thing?
Damn, and I just bought that pop...
Where's the DIR command?
The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
I cleaned up the root partition and now there's lots of free space.
What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
Do you smell something?
What's that grinding sound?
I have never seen it do *that* before...
I think it should not be doing that...
I remember the last time I saw it do that...
You might as well all go home early today ...
My leave starts tomorrow.
Ooops.
Hmm, maybe if I do this...
"Why is my "rm *.o" taking so long?"
Hmmm, curious...
Well, my files were backed up.
What do you mean you needed that directory?
What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
We're standardizing on AIX.
Wonder what this command does?
What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)
You did what to the floppy???
Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
NO! Not that button!
Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...
Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
[looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this running?"
Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
What's this switch for anyways...?
Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does
Say, What does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?
If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
Was that your directory?
System coming down in 0 min....
The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a monday afternoon.)
I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out triping the breaker.
What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?
The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline...)
Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
I hate it when that happens.
And what does it mean 'rm: .o: No such file or directory'?
Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?
Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
You can do this patch with the system up...
What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....
What do mean by "fired"?
hey, what does mkfs do?
where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this...
don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ *plum*
what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};
now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either
Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
SMIT makes it all so much easier......
Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
I don't care what he says, I'm not having it on my network
We don't support that. We won't support that.
...and after I patched the microcode...
You've got TECO. What more do you want?
We prefer not to change the root password, it's an nice easy one
Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...
  • whatlikesit12345
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Post 3+ Months Ago

Quote:
I got a better job at Lockheed...


hey watch wat u say

that is where my dad works
  • Dragon
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Post 3+ Months Ago

LOL Sorry didn't write all this..:D
  • ATNO/TW
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Post 3+ Months Ago

*lol --that pretty much sums it up!
  • ModernDestroyer
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Post 3+ Months Ago

also something u don't want to hear

"yea it was backedup, wait where did u store it......ooooh"
  • UNFLUX
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Post 3+ Months Ago

:lol:
  • Axe
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Post 3+ Months Ago

And do't forget... "What UPS?" (Uninterruptable Power Supply, AKA "Battery Backup" - not the shipping company, heh).
  • Tom the Great
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I like, "At least MY files were backed up"
  • ATNO/TW
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Post 3+ Months Ago

My favorite -- (question)"What was the exact error message?" - (answer)"ummm...I didn't write it down"

Oddly, on this note -- one of my co-employees had the good sense to leave a BSoD message on screen, today, so I could actually see it!

I must be teaching them something! *lol
  • conorific
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Post 3+ Months Ago

That's so horrorshow...it's BOFH-style. I'm sure you've all read BOFH...we're all geeks here. ;) Joking.
  • Walmartbagger
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Post 3+ Months Ago

Wonder what this command does? :lol:
And if we just swap these two disc controllers like this....

Where did u find this stuff dragon? :D
  • IH8Purple
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I can assure you that I didn't for-thingymabob any of these computers. Som of the data on these ones has gone missing though
  • Dragon
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I was doing a seach on Bill Gates's house because I just wanted to dream for a while and I found this website with a picture of his house and with a couple of cool stuff. Check it out:

http://www.anvari.org/fun/Computer/all.html


oh I almost forget to mention: if you are kinda 'young'...there some...rated 'R' stuff in there :)
  • Dragon
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Post 3+ Months Ago

This one is pretty cool as well:
Note: If you feel offended by the content of this material please pardon me.

===========
Bill Gates and the God

>If Bill Gates were killed in a car accident. He might
find himself being sized up by God.

"...Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm
not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in the world, and yet
you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do
something I've never done before. In your case, I'm
going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference
between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places
briefly if it will help you make a decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."

Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy
beach with clear waters.

There were thousands of beautiful women running around,
playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.

The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.

Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God.
"If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," said God, and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels
drifting about playing harps and singing.

It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his
decision. "Hmm, I think prefer Hell," he told God.

"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.

When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave.

He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful; this is NOT what I
expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened
to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful
women playing in the water?"

God says, "That was the screen saver."

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