Funny Jokes (Clean)

  • Bogey
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I found this at ahajokes.com ... some of them are dull, but I thought this one was kind of funny...

Quote:
A driving school test
The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school.

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.
  • Anonymous
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Post 3+ Months Ago

  • mk27
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Post 3+ Months Ago

Hey wow! Where'd you get these? I actually gave the answer to #9 (and #6!) because I'd failed my road test already!

:arrow: Okay whoops! sorry I thot that said "Canada" not "California"...however, the last car I ever owned did get impounded in Cali, and by the time they let me out of the Marin county jail, it was way, way too expensive to get it back again. Since then I've just been living my life backwards and now the only vehicle I own is a skateboard :) This person(s) would pass a skateboard license test with flying colors.
  • Bogey
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I got them at ahajokes.com... most of them are lame because they are clean (haha) but there are some that are funny still.

spicyjokes.com is a good joke site for un-clean ones... not the best, but that is the only site I've found and used.
  • Smoky89
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Post 3+ Months Ago

Nice.. thanx for the website Bogey
  • mindfullsilence
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Post 3+ Months Ago

found this on spicyjokes.com, kinda lame but fits some of the peeps here at ozzu:

Quote:
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
  • Bogey
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Post 3+ Months Ago

yup :)

Didn't know there were programming jokes there... gotta check that part out.
  • Dragon Knight
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I think someone ever answer like this. In my country had the same story.
  • Dragon Knight
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Post 3+ Months Ago

I think someone ever answer like this. In my country had the same story.
  • Ferral
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Post 3+ Months Ago

Dragon Knight wrote:
I think someone ever answer like this. In my country had the same story.

Were you Dragon?
  • mistercrooks
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Post 3+ Months Ago

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?



... a wonkey :-)
  • kc0tma
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Post 3+ Months Ago

...a three legged donkey
  • Bogey
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Post 3+ Months Ago

luckygal wrote:
I heard some kid jokes that i think it is the place to share. It is so funny.
1. What kind of phone does the Ocean have?
ans : A shell phone.
2.What did the snail say when he rode on the turtle's back?
ans : wheeeeeeeee!!!
Do you like it?

I liked it :lol: I particularly liked the second one :D Thanks for sharing

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