How many forum members does it take to chage a light bulb?

  • whatlikesit12345
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1211

Post 3+ Months Ago

Then i walk out of the shadows and say the lightbulb or light bult was never burnt out it was just a hardware problem
  • ATNO/TW
  • Super Moderator
  • Super Moderator
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 23454
  • Loc: Woodbridge VA

Post 3+ Months Ago

whatlikesit12345 wrote:
Then i walk out of the shadows and say the lightbulb or light bult was never burnt out it was just a hardware problem


*lol -- could you provide the solution? Was it a popped fuse, a tripped breaker, faulty wiring, a faulty lamp, bad switch? We like to encourage folks to provide the solutions when possible!
  • whatlikesit12345
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1211

Post 3+ Months Ago

no idea. Maybe it was just that the housing that holds the bulb was bad. so i really have no idea. Maybe they just frogot to plug it in

i found that on a jokes page. i have another one but it has nothing to do with lightbulbs (light bulbs??) a car breaks down with 3 a mac user, linux user and a microsoft user. The mac and linux user try to figure out was is wrong but they cannot figure it out. The microsoft user having common since was like lets close all the windows get out and then get back in and see if it works.

I don't remember where i heard/found that. I give credit to where ever i found that.
  • Borrow -A- Geek
  • Professor
  • Professor
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 763
  • Loc: Dallas/Ft Worth, Texas

Post 3+ Months Ago

The Top 10 ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars:

1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER
that year, instead of before.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy
a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason and you'd have to
restart it. For some strange reason, you just accept this.

4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you
bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more
seats.

5. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as
reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.

6. The oil, alternator, gas, and engine warning lights would be
replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft
cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other
brands for years.

8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).

9. The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker,
instead of giving them.

10. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.
  • RyTRiX
  • Graduate
  • Graduate
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 239
  • Loc: Michigan

Post 3+ Months Ago

Haha thats awesome! Where'd you get that Gadget?
  • whatlikesit12345
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1211

Post 3+ Months Ago

I have a long list of lightbulb jokes.

went to google and typed in lightbulb jokes.

pm me if u want it
  • whatlikesit12345
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1211

Post 3+ Months Ago

smaller version

Q: How many Atlantians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends, which household does it belong to?

Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress,
I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and
remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the
dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a
hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and
replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design.
Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just
before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry
truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.

Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state,
One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver,
One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model
of human lightbulb changing behaviour], The logical formalism group (16):
[One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in first order logic,
One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in second order logic,
One to show the adequacy of FOL, One to show the inadequacy of FOL, One to
show that lightbulb logic is non-monotonic, One to show that it isn't
non-monotonic, One to show how non-monotonic logic is incorporated in FOL,
One to determine the bindings for the variables, One to show the
completeness of the solution, One to show the consistency of the solution,
One to show that the two just above are incoherent, One to hack a theorem
prover for lightbulb resolution, One to suggest a parallel theory of
lightbulb logic theorem proving, One to show that the parallel theory isn't
complete. ...ad infinitum (or absurdum, as you will). ... One to indicate
how it is a description of human lightbulb changing behaviour, One to call
the electrician], The robotics group (10): [One to build a vision system
to recognize the dead bulb, One to build a vision system to locate a new
bulb, One to figure out how to grasp the lightbulb without breaking it, One
to figure out how to make a universal joint that will permit the hand to
rotate 360+ degrees, One to figure out how to make the universal joint go
the other way, One to figure out the arm solutions that will get the arm to
the socket, One to organize the construction teams, One to hack the
planning system, One to get Westinghouse to sponsor the research, One to
indicate about how the robot mimics human motor behaviour in lightbulb
changing], The knowledge engineering group (6): [One to study electricians'
changing lightbulbs, One to arrange for the purchase of the lisp machines,
One to assure the customer that this is a hard problem and that great
accomplishments in theory will come from his support of this effort (The
same one can arrange for the fleecing.), One to study related research, One
to indicate about how it is a description of human lightbulb changing
behaviour, One to call the lisp hackers], The Lisp hackers (13): [One to
bring up the chaos net, One to adjust the microcode to properly reflect the
group's political beliefs, One to fix the compiler, One to make
incompatible changes to the primitives, One to provide the Coke, One to
rehack the Lisp editor/debugger, One to rehack the window package, Another
to fix the compiler, One to convert code to the non-upward compatible Lisp
dialect, Another to rehack the window package properly, One to flame on
BUG-LISPM, Another to fix the microcode, One to write the fifteen lines of
code required to change the lightbulb], The Psychological group (5): [One
to build an apparatus which will time lightbulb changing performance, One
to gather and run subjects, One to mathematically model the behaviour, One
to call the expert systems group, One to adjust the resulting system, so
that it drops the right number of bulbs.

How many hobbits does it take to change a light bulb?
One to complain that the light bulb isn't working,
Five to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it,
Twenty to form an expedidtion to the fabled Lightbulb mines of Mythrill,
Thirty to throw a going away party,
One to ask Gandalf for directions,
One to sell into slavery when the petty cash runs out,
Five to get lost through natural wastage (Bandist, murderers, monsters
etc),
One to thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb mine,
Two to carry the lightbulbs,
Five to find a large, sword-welding barbarian to escort the lightbulbs
home,
Thirty to throw a safe return party,
Five to find an elf tall enough to change the lightbulb,
Five to compose ballads of daring, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs,
Finally another two-hundred to appear in the subsequent Tolkien books.
  • b_heyer
  • Web Master
  • Web Master
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 4581
  • Loc: Maryland

Post 3+ Months Ago

No one ever fixed it. That angers me. WOULD SOMEONE FIX THE LIGHTBULB!

SOMEONE
ANYONE!!!
  • IH8Purple
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1215
  • Loc: Somewhere on Google Earth

Post 3+ Months Ago

you were off by 5 days Brandon... tisk tisk
  • Axe
  • Genius
  • Genius
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 5739
  • Loc: Sub-level 28

Post 3+ Months Ago

Quote:
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


;)
  • IH8Purple
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1215
  • Loc: Somewhere on Google Earth

Post 3+ Months Ago

hence my off by 5 days :P

here is a light bulb
. . . __--___
((((=---------|
. . . ¯¯--¯¯¯

soory for the dotd, but if you put more then 1 space ozzu autofixes :P
  • b_heyer
  • Web Master
  • Web Master
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 4581
  • Loc: Maryland

Post 3+ Months Ago

and a month. May 8th would be six months. I couldn't wait that long...and here is your real lightbulb:

Code: [ Select ]
  __--___
((=    |
  ¯¯--¯¯¯
  1.   __--___
  2. ((=    |
  3.   ¯¯--¯¯¯
  • IH8Purple
  • Guru
  • Guru
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 1215
  • Loc: Somewhere on Google Earth

Post 3+ Months Ago

ahh, spaces allowed in code... thanks B, I'll have to remeber that
  • b_heyer
  • Web Master
  • Web Master
  • User avatar
  • Posts: 4581
  • Loc: Maryland

Post 3+ Months Ago

you will..NOW WILL SOMEONE FIX THE LIGHTBULB!

Post Information

  • Total Posts in this topic: 44 posts
  • Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 36 guests
  • You cannot post new topics in this forum
  • You cannot reply to topics in this forum
  • You cannot edit your posts in this forum
  • You cannot delete your posts in this forum
  • You cannot post attachments in this forum
 
 

© 1998-2014. Ozzu® is a registered trademark of Unmelted, LLC.