Not a people person

I'm sorry to always come to ozzu to vent my frustrations, but I feel like I've been losing it lately and turning more reactionary and more aggressive. The last 24 hours I have felt especially so.

In this little town I live in, my neighbors are a bar and a motel. So this weekend at the motel there was a big wedding, and every weekend we have drunks walking home from the bar in front of our house. Last night was a little more wild though, one of the motel guests was absolutely trashed and was in our front yard disturbing our peace and quiet. He would throw up then start crying to his girl friend about how weak he was, then start calling for his dog Duke who was locked in the truck right next to him, then realize the dog was in the truck and then the cycle would start over again. This went on for almost an hour before I decided to go out and tell him to go away and sleep it off. Of course he denied everything, and while I was talking to him his girlfriend even fell to her knees and started puking. By then I almost called 911 because they were way trashed but I accidently told him to get the hell off my property and do something about his barking dog. He got a little defensive and asked "What dog, bitch?" and I told him the dog in his f**king truck. He put his arms up and came at me, so I shoved him over and he had a hard getting back on his feet and then stumbled away with his girlfriend. I don't doubt that we would have gotten more physical had he come at me again. I've only ever been in one fist fight my entire life and I was probably 10 years old then.

So then today me and my wife took our dogs out to a nature trail at a place called Ross Creek Cedars, it is a place with a nice creek and some giant thousand year old cedar trees. The parking lot for this area is tiny and it was jam packed with cars, and when we were leaving there was a guy with his big truck and a great big camper in tow complaining about how many cars there were there and that he couldn't turn his rig around. There are signs on the road leading up to there that say no trailers or oversized vehicles so it was his own damned fault he couldn't get out, and as we were driving by I rolled down the window and told him "smooth move, asshole" and flipped him off.

Doing this kind of stuff is totally out of character for me, I'm normally pretty passive and keep to myself. I know that behavior like this is not healthy and it kind of has me a bit worried, its been slowly building up for several months now. I don't know if I just need to hop on my motorcycle and ride for a couple weeks with no schedule so that I can clear my head or if I need to start seeing a therapist or whatever, I need to figure something out though.

Thanks for letting me spill my guts to you, I needed to get this off my chest.

I've found that since I've started doing stuff like this, less people think I'm a serial killer. Trust me, it's better to have people think you're an asshole, than a serial killer.

I'd rather be a hard ass than be a wuss that avoids confrontation, but its just weird that I'm starting to act this way now and I never have before.

Is it fun ?

You know, you are not alone. The same is happening to me.

I was reading your first post and started to think about how i could reply to this, i ended up thinking the words "i have never met you and already like you" seem to be appropriate, but then i read it and thought it seemed creepy.

At the end of the day, we all get pissed off. Eventually through time you stop caring about what people think and then act in the way you are acting.

I've just been speaking to my new "room mate" and she was telling me how recently i've become a bit of an asshole, especially to her friends. I am not really aware i am acting like that most of the time, i mean i was never the kind of guy that ever looked at myself in the mirror to see what my face looked like when i said things but apparently it says alot about what someone is trying to say. Earlier on i was kinda a bit pissed off for a variety of reasons and i did actually mean to be an ass to her for whatever reason. I should really see a therapist.

Oh, and to answer Joe's question. Yes, it is fun.

It is kind of fun but its weird that I've always been kind of a wuss until now.

I think I just need to take some time off work before school starts back up in a couple weeks and just decompress and do absolutely nothing, kind of a physical and mental detox.

I hope the vacation works out for you. I was off work a couple of weeks ago for a fortnight and have another week next week. I'll probably still be the pissed off guy i am in a couple of weeks time.

You need to find out what is causing you to be like that, there must be something in your life bothering you alot to make you a bit more agitated.

I think you have Kanye West syndrome.

I might have to have my dog put to sleep pretty soon, so that isn't helping much either.